If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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