Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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