There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize