im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize