Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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