I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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