My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize