He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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