I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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