i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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