if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
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We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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