the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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