Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
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Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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