How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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