the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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