Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
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I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize