Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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