Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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