My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize