pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize