Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize