We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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