make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So vagazzling was a success
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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