I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize