I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize