my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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