My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
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You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
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Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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