You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize