He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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