i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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