come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize