no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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