youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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