Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
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my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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