i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize