Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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