So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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