using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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