PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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