mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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