just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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