I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
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my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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