i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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