last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize