Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
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Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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