he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
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You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
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Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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