It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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