drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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