at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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