Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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