Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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